For a few days last week, I was in the mood to go shopping. You know how sometimes you just get the urge to buy something new, but you don't really know what you want? You just know you want something.
Instead of rushing to my favorite stores; I decided to do a deep cleaning of my closet and get an inventory of everything I have and then if I need something, I can go shopping for those items.
I stood there and looked at my closet after it was all clean and color coordinated and realized I had multiples of every color item imaginable. Multiple color blouses, sweaters, coats, pants, skirts, dresses, shoes, purses etc. Even after purging two whole suitcases full, I still barely had room for all of my clothes. I also realized that I had items I bought before I was pregnant with the tags still on that I had completely forgotten about. They were brand new, never worn.
I was so convicted.
Why do I feel the need to always buy something new?
Last night at church we were asked to evaluate our lives and figure out what our "One Thing" is. That "One Thing" that you live for, that you love most, that you can say drives your life. If someone were to look at my life, what would they say my "One Thing" is?
I was convicted yet again.
This feeling to always have something new, is really a consumeristic and selfish desire. It is a desire for me to fill a void in my life. To fill my spare time with something. Whether that something is a new clothing item, or a new decor item for my home, or even a new place to eat around town. It is still a want to be more fulfilled.
I have a happy marriage, a beautiful healthy boy, a beautiful home, a safe and reliable car to drive, food on the table and everything I could ever need.
So why do I want more.
The answer for me is simple. I don't have enough of Jesus in my life.
I have failed to make Him my "One Thing" lately. To follow his example for my life.
He was generous, a true servant, selfless.
I have been selfish lately. I'm so busy with a newborn and all the things that life brings that I justify my consumeristic lifestyle by saying "I needed that" or "I deserve that after working so hard." What ever happened to helping those less fortunate? To being a servant and using my spare time to bless others?
I had lost sight of this in the past year and to be honest, the conviction felt so good. I'm tired of trying to keep up with society and how it tells us we always need something new to be a better person. It leads to a vicious cycle of always wanting more. To feeling more empty and like the next best thing will make me happier. Wrong. That "next best thing" will soon become old, and the want for something new will return.
I want to be grounded in Christ. In his values. In his life as a mirror for my life.
I want to be a better wife, mother, sister and friend.
A better neighbor.
A more kind stranger.
A more generous, loving person who has the heart of a servant.
These are the somethings that should consume my mind. The somethings I should be passionately chasing after.
So here I am in these pictures. Wearing this new hat that I got last week. Excited that I got it in exchange for some items I took to Crossroads Trading Co.
Yes, I love this hat and I don't regret bringing it home. It is a one of a kind in my closet. It will serve as a reminder that I too am one of a kind. Created in God's image with talents, gifts and many blessings from Him and that all of these are to be used for His glory. He is enough. He is my something and my everything. He is my "One Thing"
Have a blessed Monday!